oldmanblurtsout™

I am trapped! I cannot escape! These walls are closing in on me! Will someone please let me out? Do you ever get that feeling like you cannot free yourself from the turmoil in your life? Do you keep trying to scale that wall but your rope keeps falling to the ground every time you throw it up? Does the hill seem too hard to climb? You can see what is on the other side of the bars but you just cannot seem to reach it. Like the monkey watching a child with a banana, we feel restrained and envious but seem not quite able to get a taste. Then, like the elephant that steals a peanut from a spectator’s bag, we have a taste and yearn for it more.  However, we are ensnared by our thoughts and our feelings of doubt about our worth and our abilities. Then we beat ourselves up and put ourselves down not unlike the bully on the playground that teased us so many years before.

Can I really lose the weight? Is it possible to be thin and healthy again? Will I ever be able to walk without losing my breath? Can I really come off of all of these medications? Can I? Will I? Will all of this exercise really help? I just seem to be going in circles. What is the point? It just is so hard! I just feel as if the world is going to come and crash down on top of me. Will I be on this oxygen forever? I wear this tube like it is my leash. It pulls me back every time I attempt to go beyond its boundaries. I am the dog that is beat upon. Not by others, but by myself. I look in the mirror and see the enormous being that I have become. My weight loss dreams are lost. My life has become a mere existence to sit and wait for the end. I am alone, drowning in my self-pity.

It is in that moment, God rushes into my life. He lifts me up. He sends His angel of mercy down to motivate my friend to call. He fills my email box full of letters from friends and family. He brings new friends into my life, there to support me in my goals. As the day goes on a friendly knock comes tapping at my door. It is a friend I have not seen in a long time. He comes in and says, “WOW! You have had a tremendous weight loss!” As my friend leaves, God makes me ponder of another friend that I have not spoken to in months. He encourages me to call her just to say hi and she makes me feel wonderful, complimenting me on my achievements on my diet and my positive attitude. Then my daughter comes to visit me and actually sits and talks instead of concentrating exclusively on the computer screen on the desk.

The world starts to open up. I feel confident again. I have been encouraged and inspired. I see that I am making progress. I start to think I can do it! I can make a lifestyle change! I can reach my goals! I can lose the weight! I can stick to my diet! I will make it! I will survive! I can and will exercise! I will break free of these bars and my leash! I have tasted the peanut and I will have the whole bag. I will one day look back at this time and feel triumphant. I feel the motivation. I am on fire and ready to go.

A new friend told me today that you can never have enough friends. This is so true. I thank God everyday for the friends and family in my life. I have been truly blessed because they are so supportive of me and my weight loss goals and my dedication to my healthy lifestyle change. They cheer me up when I am down. They send me hearts and hugs when they are far away. It is so wonderful to have them all in my life. I only wish that I can bring others the joy, support and happiness that they bring me. When I am feeling down, my Lord is there for me. He provides me with those small miracles of life that fill my heart with love. They are called my friends and my family. They are my support group. Whether it is my family, the new friend I meet on the internet, the friends I have at Weight Watchers©, or my best friends that have been true for years, it is their love and encouragement that keeps me striving toward my goal to live a happier and healthier life. Lord, thank you for my Friends!

I leave you with this thought. If you are in need of a friend, feel free to contact me. No one can ever have too many friends. I will be your support. I know how important it is to have that support from others when striving to improve our lives and make that lifestyle change.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)

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